- *speed dating*
- Me: Hi! Charmander, Bulbasaur, or Squirtle?
- Him: Huh?
- Me: Aaaaaand we're done here.
March 2012
February 2012
- Woman: Can I have birth control?
- Government: No.
- Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
- Government: No.
- Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
- Government: No.
- Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
- Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
- Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
- Government: Too bad.
- Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
- Government: Do you have a penis?
- Man: YES, YES I DO!!
- Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
- Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
- Woman: But-
- Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
I'm in an abusive relationship with Chemistry.
I spend my entire week just trying to make him happy. And then when it really matters, he won’t help me out in the least.
70.8% on my homework
Fuck the rest!
